This past week we had the rare opportunity to attend Sexuality 95 - The National Clinical Conference of the American Board of Sexology at Ramada Plaza Hotel- Washington D.C., June 21-June 24. We, along with a top from the gay leather community, were invited as guests to be resources for Dr. Wm. Granzig`s presentation on SM.
The conference gave us a chance to see how professionals in the field of sexuality view the SM community and in many cases we were the first members of the scene that they had met (that they knew of) and interacted with in a non-therapeutic situation. Most of the people attending were MD/psychiatrists, PhD level clinical psychologists, or therapists with M.S.W. (Masters of Social Work) working in education at the university level or as therapists. Most frequently, they deal with sexuality related to dysfunction.
We found an enormous range of sophistication about non-traditional sexual orientations. Unfortunately, most of the professionals` knowledge of BDSM stems from academic articles about paraphilias ("abnormal" sexuality), or is based on contact with people who have run afoul of the legal system or have serious problem of some sort. It is important for them to understand that consensual non-abusive SM, is not a pathological condition, but people engaged in it might have any of the same problems that others who have a more conventional sexual orientation might. By interacting with these pros of academia and practice for four days they saw how ordinary we were and we made several friends in the process. Seeing that Philip, while a self-admitted sadist, wasn`t a monster or even an arrogant or controlling person, but just your average basic nice guy; and that Molly was an assertive women with definite opinions of her own broke a lot of their stereotypes.
The schedule for the conference included the giving of life time achievements awards to Ruth Westheimer, Ph.D.; William Masters, M.D.; and Albert Ellis, Ph.D. In brief here are the clinical talks and our reactions:
1- "Sexologists Educate the Media" - Dr. Westheimer Dr. Westheimer was a delight, a tiny, bubbly, witty woman with the energy and speed of a Tazmanian devil. She didn`t walk around the hospitality room where we first met talking to people; she bounced off them and on to the next completing a circuit once then starting all over again. But rather than come off as silly and pretentious, she ensnared all of us in a dialogue that connected everyone in the room to everyone else. Quite a method to this woman`s madness. A certain genius, really.
She saw Dr. Masters looking at his copy of our book, snapped it up and glanced at the title. Discovering it was about sadomasochism, she said, "Whoops! This isn`t for me, I`m an old fashioned grandmother, this is not my image... I would like a signed copy, please. Nobody touch my copy! Where is it? Over there, ok! Nobody touch it!" Then, Zing!, she was off to another table of people, then out of the room, then back into it. As short as she is, no one will ever overlook her.
The following morning she accepted The Medal of Sexology for lifetime achievement and addressed the meeting by first acknowledging her peers. "It is a Jewish tradition to stand on the shoulders of giants to accomplish our goals," She gestured to Dr. William Masters, cofounder of the Masters and Johnson team, "This man is our giant. Without him, none of us would be here." Her point was for us to acknowledge our lineage, and she went on advising us to acknowledge our limitations as well.
"Dr. Ruth" spoke on educating the the media and told us of her experiences with it with the same machine gun style we saw the day before and each bullet was a gem. "The camera does not lie," she advised us, "don`t lie to it." Know when to say "No" to the media because the media, especially television, is so seductive. Maintain your integrity, always, admit it when you don`t know enough about a topic to comment on it. And say so! Scare techniques don`t work; AIDS education should be a componant of sex education. Make your message accessable to as many as you can, use popular language. Bury as many myths as you can. Respect is not debatable, treat everyone with respect. So many, so excellent, and so rapid were the points she made we were all out of breath and clamoring for an instant replay.
