Reasons for Marriage: Marriage is a social custom that has been playing a unifying role between the cultures since antiquity. Marriage lays the foundation for a family. Hence, selection of girls for marriage purpose must be done cautiously and carefully. Acharya Vatsyayan dictates that a girl obtained from the same caste, community or class with religious ways proves helpful in attaining Dharma (religion), Artha (wealth) and Kama (pleasures). Children begotten by such a lady gain acceptance and respect in the society.
Suitable Girl: A girl of noble ancestry and three or more years younger than the boy is suitable by all means for the marriage. Sweet conduct, attractive figure, beauty, character and good family background are other things that count in the selection of a suitable girl. She must have a well- balanced proportion among her body parts like hair, teeth, nails, eyes etc. She must not be afflicted with any serious diseases.
Girls who doze or cry loudly during the marriage rituals, or run away from the house, whose names do not sound good, girls who are deliberately concealed before the actual time of marriage are not at all suitable for marriage.
Consideration of Relation: Even if you have found suitable girl to marry with, consideration of her relations is very important. It is said that, friendship lasts with people of equal standard. This logic also applies well to the marriage because marriage is a life-long friendship. One should therefore strive to select a girl from his similar status. Even if he has got a girl from the high society, he should bring her to his own home after marriage and should not agree to stay with his in-laws in any case.
Coaxing of the girl: Even after marriage, the groom cannot enjoy physical intimacy with the bride without winning her confidence. This chapter describes the ways to win the confidence of the newly wed bride.
Abidance to celibacy for three nights: The bride and groom must follow celibacy for three days after the marriage. During this period, they should sleep separately on the floor, take plain food without salt or sour. Thereafter they should take bath, adorn themselves with ornaments, watch games and treat the guests.
Girl fit for coition: To decide this point, one should pay attention to three things. 1) Age of the girl. 2) Development of her body and 3) Her monthly periods. Exponents of Kamasutra advocate marriage of a twelve years old girl with a twenty-five years old boy. They also say that intercourse of a sixteen years old girl by twenty years old boy produces a healthy baby. Those who have nothing to do with education may marry well before attaining an age of twenty. Experts advocate that a girl can be mated with immediately after her first menses. If the body of a girl is healthy and sound, there is no harm in intercourse at an age of twelve, experts say.
In the present modern age, population explosion has taken the magnitude of the crisis. Hence, one should follow the guidelines of his country`s constitution regarding marriage. Similarly, if one intends to have healthy children, he should not opt for young girls for marriage. In India, the constitution fixes twenty-one years for boys and eighteen years for girls as the marriage age. Medical experts also agree at these ages. But in big cities, people usually get married in advance age.
GANDHARVA VIVAH (Love Marriage): Marriages are made in heaven but there are innumerable hurdles in their way on earth. First of all, it is the parents of the girl who put the greatest hurdle. Despite knowing that it is virtually impossible to get a cent percent groom, they continue to chase a `wild goose` for their daughter. In their efforts, such parents miss scores of suitable boys who could be well-matched grooms for their daughters. If the girl wishes, love marriage could be a good way out for her. Similarly, there are lot of barriers in the marriage of poor but deserving boy. A rich but dependent boy likewise faces many hurdles in his marriage. In all these situations, love marriage is the best option.
